We were new to the area and I already felt like we stuck out like a sore thumb. I learned where the local library was and that they had a little playground outside, so we jumped in the car and headed over.
My girls are endlessly girlie- dresses and twirls, glitter and sparkles galore. They love wearing dresses anything that screams “girl.” Most of our personal things were in temporary storage at the time, so even I had a limited choice of summery shorts, dresses, and capris.
Try to picture us: A mom and two school-aged girls, middle of the day, hanging out at the playground next to the library. Before allowing the girls to play, we went in and checked out a few books. I flipped through them while they climbed in their dresses.
Another mom asked to share the bench with me. Desperate for some new friends, I tried to strike up a conversation with her. She seemed fairly nice. Then the question, which I knew she was trying to think of a way to ask, fell out of her mouth as a nearly-snide statement.
“You homeschool, don’t you.”
“Yes, how did you know?”
“You are all wearing dresses and you are reading crafting books.” Then she stared off into the distance as if she watching something more interesting across the street.
To that, I wasn’t quite sure what to say. What I did know is that I wanted to throw one of my crafting books at her head. I disliked that she assumed so much about me based on our clothing. I didn’t like her tone of voice when she said the word “homeschool,” as if we carried some infectious disease.
I sat there for a minute and really tried to think of a response that wouldn’t land me in hand-cuffs. But I couldn’t. I was truly speechless. It was like the time in middle school when you’re the new kid and other kids assume they know you based on what school you came from or what neighborhood you moved into. The kind of moments you want to forget forever but they somehow get burned into your memory.
Thankfully, after an awkward amount of silence, she continued by saying that I needed to meet the other homeschooler she knew. Then, it was time for her kid to nap so they left. I have never been so happy to see a cranky preschooler in all my life.
Most of the time, I am very proud to be a homeschooler. That moment though, really made me want to crawl under a rock. I wanted to make friends in our new town and I didn’t want one simple part of our life to hinder that.
Most of my community is very supportive of homeschoolers. We often come across someone who wants to know more about how we do it or ask a few random questions. Usually, it’s an honest desire to learn about homeschooling and I really enjoy talking about what we do. This lady had her mind set and opinions made about the whole topic.
Have you encountered strange assumptions people have toward homeschooling? Have you experienced hurtful looks, questions, or opinions of strangers because you homeschool? When you do, keep your chin up and remind yourself why you homeschool.
Lindsay Banton is a caffeinated mother to three great kids. She never expected to homeschool, but has found that it is a wonderful addition to their lifestyle and wouldn’t change it for the world. In addition to homeschooling, Lindsay works alongside her husband in campus ministry at a large university in Connecticut. She grew up in Virginia but has settled into life in New England, learning to love the long winters, cool springs, green summers and gorgeous autumns- and has built a boot collection to meet all the demands. She is currently blogging at www.oaksreplanted.blogspot.com
