Let’s be dramatic for a moment. Unless you’re lying or don’t have a pulse, we’ve all had a day that reached back and slapped us in the face. It’s the kind of day where you question every single decision you’ve ever made in all of your life. You wonder how your kids haven’t become sickened with some food borne illness because the kitchen is such a disaster or how you have found yourself covered in food/vomit/unexplainable smear of unidentifiable substance and you think to yourself,
“What on earth am I doing and how did I get here?”
. . . and perhaps even,
“Can I phone a friend to get me out of this situation . . . even if just for a little while?”
It happens. Life happens. People are messy – both in reality and in their hearts. Dirty diapers hit the fan and those tiny little pee-filled pellets fly all over the place. I get it. I have had the days where I ask the big questions.
In fact I texted my closest friend and informed her that I was having one of those days last week. (Side note: Her response of “oh no” didn’t help much because she was post-procedure medicated. C’est la vie. I had to move on because my charges were begging for food.) I fed the kids and tried to regroup. That didn’t work either. Regrouping just annoyed me because I didn’t want to have to regroup. Then I was annoyed that I was annoyed.
If my text-a-friend hadn’t have been highly medicated, I know what she would have said. (“Being there, doing that” enough times gives me mind-reading power.) So, I’ll tell you in hopes that I can remind myself next time my day blows up.
She would have sighed a very compassionate sigh and asked what was wrong. Then she would have listened to me whine about my horrible day. Then she would have asked what my kids had been eating (which was probably sugary cereal) and if I was PMSing. Then she would advise me to shut down my agenda for the day – and hint at shutting down tomorrow’s agenda too – and go blow off steam in some fun sort of way. She would remind me that academics are important, but so are heart and attitude issues. And lastly, she would ask if my goals are too high and why I am feeling whatever pressure I am feeling.
After being given the freedom to take a “mental day,” I allowed myself to do it. It took hours of decompressing to come down from my heightened stress. Truth be told, it might have taken more than a few hours. And while the drama lessened, I realized that homeschool moms – and moms in general – tend to carry a lot of pressure on their shoulders and that isn’t so great. In most jobs, taking a “mental day” to get away from the stress is okay and common. Parenting and homeschooling can make room for the mental days too; we just need to build up our support system enough to withstand the tough days.
So, relax Momma. Kick up your heels while the kids slide down the twirl-y slide all afternoon. Enjoy the hidden chocolate. Take a hot bath. Pop in a movie. Start over tomorrow . . . or the next day. Your tough days will come and we need to be ok with it.
Lindsay Banton is a caffeinated mother to three great kids. She never expected to homeschool, but has found that it is a wonderful addition to their lifestyle and wouldn’t change it for the world. In addition to homeschooling, Lindsay works alongside her husband in campus ministry at a large university in Connecticut. She grew up in Virginia but has settled into life in New England, learning to love the long winters, cool springs, green summers and gorgeous autumns- and has built a boot collection to meet all the demands. She is currently blogging at www.oaksreplanted.blogspot.com.
